Becoming Our Best


Heart-wrenching situations come in many shapes and forms: death, disability, loss of a relationship, family distress, passed over for promotion, crisis of health and many more. Each of us will experience our share of them in the course of a lifetime. But some of us seem to do better in dealing with these harsh situations than other folks do. Why do you suppose that is?

It appears that some of us are just naturally more resilient and can handle the losses and accompanying grief with a minimum of trouble. For the rest of us, here are some strategies which may be helpful:

Accepting the loss, gradually and completely.
Asking for help, divine, family, friends, counseling, fellow employees or others who care.
Keeping occupied with healthy activities instead of brooding.
Helping others whose problems are heavier than ours.
Knowing that time is a friend in the healing process.
Believing that life will gradually come to a “new normal”.

Be aware when someone has suffered a loss which causes them great distress. Then offer to listen, without advising. Advice is rarely helpful, unless it is asked for; and then it should be given with great compassion and carefully worded. Be a friend and offer to do whatever you can to help the situation.

When the loss is your own, try to walk the line between too much self- pity and over-reliance on self. Brooding and self-pity immobilizes us and makes the healing process drag out more slowly. Total self-reliance can make us hard, brittle and bitter emotionally, affecting ourselves and all those around us.

Knowing and believing that “all is well” is a healthy place to start dealing with the grief and loss. Accept the situation, grieve for it and its effects and hang onto the sense that you can survive this loss and become a better person.

Author: Bruce Johnsen Management Consultant:
824 Munras Ave Suite G
Monterey, CA 93940

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